Made to feel like you’re in the wrong

Posted: May 18, 2016 in books

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I had to post this because it really ticked me off. My two year old is just like most her age. Climbing things she shouldn’t, going too fast on her scooter, running around like a maniac, all normal toddler behaviour but she is extremely clumsy and accident prone. She fell face first outside the school gates the other day, bruised her forehead and tore her frenulum (small fold of skin in the upper lip). Her mouth bled loads but soon stopped. I rang the doctor but they said these things usually heal themselves and if I was worried I should visit the A&E department. She seemed fine and was eating okay so I decided to see how it was the next day. I did however have a little Google search and found that quite a few mum’s had the same thing happen, but were told that it was viewed as a sign of child abuse akin with a punch to the mouth and that they were scared to visit their GP. I disregarded this, I’d done nothing wrong and wanted to make sure that though seemingly okay, I wanted to be sure that it actually was.

The next day I noticed that my toddler had her head tilted to one side, when she turned around it was with her whole body rather than just turning her head. I headed straight to the hospital in concern. I saw the triage nurse first and explained that she’d had a fall and told her about the damage to her mouth. She took a quick look and was puzzled as to why her head was tilted. She then went on to ask whether there was any social worker or health visitor involvement. I told her there wasn’t and she said I had to wait for the doctor. The doctor asked the same questions, he appeared a little off and then declared that he needed her stripped to her nappy where he inspected every inch of her. By now I’m suspicious of his behaviour and the comments on google resurfaced. I’m pretty sure if I had beaten my child, I would not be taking her to the hospital. Angered and eager to find out what’s wrong with my baby, you can imagine my frustration when he tells me he doesn’t know why she’s tilting her head. He told me her mouth would heal itself and if I’m still concerned about her, return in a few more days.

This behaviour is not acceptable. Once the man decided I hadn’t abused my child, he clearly pegged me as a neurotic mother! Who wouldn’t be concerned that their two year old can’t straighten their head! She is also in pain with it but his advice, give painkillers regularly. No X-rays were done and only a half hearted suggestion of possibly sleeping funny, was given.

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Comments
  1. That’s very odd. I hope she gets better. It is protocol, usually to ask those questions for the safety of the child. But the tilt of the head? Perhaps she strained her neck when she fell and it only stiffened after sleep. I remember pulling a muscle in my neck when I was a kid, and I couldn’t turn my head without a ton of pain. It passed after a few days, if I’m recalling correctly. I hope she feels better soon.

    • Hi Sarah and thank you. She’s still tilting her head this morning which is frustrating but I will give it one more day and hope that it improves 😀 I understand that it’s protocol but the dismissal after not finding any untoward evidence beneath her clothing really ticked me off. I am really concerned and felt that he was more interested in proving I’d done something, rather than the pain my child is in.

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