You can escape many things, but not yourself. When things are tough the advice is “take a break” or “just ignore it” but you can’t ignore your own mind. Sometimes, it’s so bad that you can’t even function properly. Your brain goes a million miles a minute, “if I do this” or “maybe I should consider that.” You can’t deal with one thing at a time, because everything is buzzing around in your head. When the kids are on your case, you plead for some time alone but then you’re left with the chaos in your mind and you desperately seek a distraction. It’s hard being the one in control, the Decision maker, the problem solver, and the comforter, especially when all you want is for everything to go away. You’re alone, yet surrounded by people all looking to you for guidance when you can’t even sort through the mess in your head. How can you make a decision, the right decision, when everyone around you wants different things? Only you are in charge and it’s not fair that you have to carry this burden, the heavy weight of what’s right and wrong, but by who?  Somehow it doesn’t matter what you feel or want because you know that ultimately, the decision will be what’s best for everyone else and not you, forever to be a prisoner of your own mind.

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