The worst thing about being a writer

As a writer, you can create your own world, characters and surroundings, which is what I love most about it, but the worst thing about being a writer, besides the endless hours of cursing, editing and stressing over whether your manuscript is good enough, is the fact that it is only fantasy. I can disappear for hours in my creative world, living the excitement, interacting with characters that I’ve created, but then outside of that, it’s back to the world out of my control. It’s quite sad really, much like when you read a really good book and can’t get it out of your head. You want to live that life, and meet those characters.

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New book

And I’m submitting it anyway 😀 I’ve worked long and hard on this book, and for those of you who have read the Twisted Bloodlines series, there are a few familiar characters in it 😀 This will be a two book mini series, and I’m about to dive on in with the second book 😀

Nothing is ever really yours

In life, nothing is really yours. The house that you have can quite easily be taken if you fall into difficulty and can’t afford to pay the mortgage/rent. The same applies to your possessions should you fall on hardship, they also can be taken through repossession to pay off debt. Even your own children can be taken away from you. Many people have fallen victim to debt. Prices are constantly rising and for most, their outgoings exceed their incoming. It’s easy to say keep up your payments and then there won’t be a problem,but until you live on the poverty line you won’t understand just how hard it can be. The same applies for losing your children. Not all those people are bad parents, depression, spiteful people and dire circumstances play major factors in most cases. Anyone can fall victim to any one of these situations. You can’t even claim that your mind is your own, Alzheimer’s, schizophrenia and other mental health issues can easily take it from you.

A dim view of life,but sadly true for many people. I guess the moral of the story is,enjoy things while you can and don’t judge people for their losses until you’ve been there yourself. I’ve seen many programs and people who have suffered these things and had no other options available to them.

Escape

You can escape many things, but not yourself. When things are tough the advice is “take a break” or “just ignore it” but you can’t ignore your own mind. Sometimes, it’s so bad that you can’t even function properly. Your brain goes a million miles a minute, “if I do this” or “maybe I should consider that.” You can’t deal with one thing at a time, because everything is buzzing around in your head. When the kids are on your case, you plead for some time alone but then you’re left with the chaos in your mind and you desperately seek a distraction. It’s hard being the one in control, the Decision maker, the problem solver, and the comforter, especially when all you want is for everything to go away. You’re alone, yet surrounded by people all looking to you for guidance when you can’t even sort through the mess in your head. How can you make a decision, the right decision, when everyone around you wants different things? Only you are in charge and it’s not fair that you have to carry this burden, the heavy weight of what’s right and wrong, but by who?  Somehow it doesn’t matter what you feel or want because you know that ultimately, the decision will be what’s best for everyone else and not you, forever to be a prisoner of your own mind.

My day

Disneyland Paris

During the the summer holidays we took the kids to Disneyland Paris. I’d been there before on a school trip many years ago and it seemed like a good place to go that didn’t involve an extremely long flight. We took the Eurostar which was fine but the problem was that when you have a two year old, even though they go for free, it isn’t a bonus. They don’t get their own seat so they have to sit on your lap for the journey which was roughly 2 hours. They also go for free at the hotel, which means they don’t get their own bed, plus they don’t even get their own plate for the hotel buffet, they have to eat off yours. I found this ridiculous but didn’t let it get us down and we chose to eat out instead, however the food was terrible. Most places just had burgers to offer, and they were disgusting. The other buffets offered weren’t much better either. Even McDonald’s was horrible. The parks themselves were good though extremely over priced as expected. The lines for the rides were quite short for peak season which was good, one of the ladies at the shop till told us it was because their visitors were really low due to the attacks. The armed guards at the bus station was also a little unnerving, yet at the same time reassuring. The hotel we stayed in was nice and not too far away from the parks.

would I recommend it? Yes I would but don’t expect much from the cuisine 😀

 

Manipulative people

This is very true, and I have come across many manipulative people and also their victims. I really can’t understand why you would want to control another, or even turn them against their family and friends. What could a person possibly benefit from that? Surely in a relationship you would want your partner to be happy, rather than both of you living miserably together. I could never understand why someone would want to stay with a person like that, but after talking to a friend who had been in that situation, I kind of understand why they would be reluctant to leave. A manipulator is extremely clever at turning a situation around making you look the bad person, they use the guilt trip, tears and even lie when they see your strength returning. It’s difficult to turn your back on the one you love, even though you know it’s wrong. You can’t help but feel sympathy for them. There must be something really wrong in their life to behave the way they do. The hard thing is, the victims can’t break away. They want help but won’t ask for it, and when they are lucky enough to escape, some of the things they tell you are quite disturbing.